Julian Rotter spoke of our locus of control. Our belief as to ourselves and our actions.The locus of control is a powerful determinant of our thoughts and feelings as well as outcomes in our lives. A person who is EXTERNALLY controlled sees themselves as victims of circumstance or bad luck…”I was at the wrong place at the wrong time”..They do not see themselves as in control of their lives. They believe the worst with thoughts such as “nobody will hire me,” “nobody cares about me.” INTERNALLY controlled people see THEMSELVES as in control of their outcomes with thoughts like “this happened because of my efforts,” or “this did not happen because I didn’t put enough into it.” Externally controlled people tend to feel helpless at the whim of bad circumstances. There is a downward spiral of hopelessness and despair. In many years of counseling others, I have always been amazed at the ability of people to stand strong and change their circumstances. People fearful of social situations, gradually confront their fears and the DO succeed. Hopelessly depressed people lean on their faith…challenge their isolation..renew relationships as well as their skills..going to school, elevating their status…The human spirit contains remarkable resilience and strength. Not to mention…Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings experienced the death of his 2 year old son at the hands of another, saw his brother struck and killed by a car when he was a child, saw his father go to prison for drugs at the age of 13, and his half brother was murdered. He never asked “Why me”…he simply powered through it and remained focused on his life goals. We can have an external locus of control and be victim…or an internal locus of control and be a survivor! Stand strong! Your beliefs are a powerful determinant of your feelings and perception of your life Follow your dreams, be a determiner of your actions. The only limit on us is that which we place on ourselves. Manute Bol, who played in the NBA, had his legs crushed in a cab accident. Rather than lament the loss of his career, he turned to spreading the Bible in Africa and ministering to others. People with fears of public speaking become great speakers. They gradually confronted their fears. Avoiding fears only makes avoidance reinforcing. No progress toward approach of fears is made. Gradually confronting fears reduces the onset of anxiety. There are great psychological tools to assist with this as well as protocols to approach fearful events with partners assisting as part of the process. Be a survivor! Don’t ask “Why me.” Do focus and believe in yourself and your capabilities! Your life will never be the same!